Why sheltering your children is bad

Maybe then there is no space for error at all , to be less than perfect may be completely unacceptable…. Consequently, perfectionism can be quite maladaptive and dysfunctional , and can also cause difficulties in interpersonal relationships, since no one is ever good enough as a partner or friend.

After all, parents have been probably cautious to teach their child that relationships are full of betrayal and pain , thus making it quite difficult to trust others in adult life - only they truly love their child, everyone else is bound to hurt them sooner or later. Insecure Attachment Style in Relationships. Overprotective parenting also impacts the attachment style of the children that receive it.

Our attachment style is the way we learned to emotionally connect and form bonds to our parents in childhood, and follows us into adulthood. It can be further influenced by both positive or negative relational experiences. Parents that reinforce a secure attachment style to their children provide a secure base to them, from which they can freely explore.

Independence is encouraged, and emotional support is guaranteed when the child needs comfort and safety in the face of threat. Overprotectiveness does not correspond to the above definition of secure attachment, thus it leads to insecure attachment. It is mostly associated with anxious ambivalent attachment in children , where the child is not encouraged to be explorative of the outside world but bonds to their parent in a rather clingy and anxious way. This attachment style develops into preoccupied attachment in adulthood : the individual becomes preoccupied with their romantic relationship or the pursuing of one.

Even when in a relationship, they have difficulty feeling secure with their partner. They fear abandonment and rejection and are hypervigilant to signs of those in their relationships. On the other hand, if the overprotective parenting was quite traumatic to the child they may have learned to resent their parents and keep a distance to protect themselves: this can indicate the presence of anxious avoidant attachment style.

Children with this attachment style believe that their needs will not be met, so they learnt to be emotionally distant and disengage from their parents. They have also learnt from an early age that close relationships hurt, therefore it is better to avoid intimacy altogether. This translates to a dismissive attachment style in adulthood , where the individual avoids relationships or feels uncomfortable if a romantic relationship gets too intimate.

Emotional closeness is undesired because it triggers painful memories from the past- and this process can often be unconscious.

The dismissive individual may be quite perfectionistic with regards to intimate relationships, setting too high standards. The realization that there is no Prince Charming on a white horse, and no dreamy Princesses either- but rather only perfectly imperfect humans to relate to , may come as a bit of a shock to the children from overprotective families, who may find it difficult to form healthy and balanced intimate relationships.

Authenticity and Honesty towards Self and Others. Last but not least, overprotective parenting may lead to a difficulty being authentic and honest towards yourself and others in adult life. When the main concern for a long time has been gaining the approval of parents and being disciplined to restrictions and rules:.

This constant validation-seeking may have led to an inability to express yourself fearlessly , out of fear of not being accepted and loved otherwise. Unfortunately, this could mean that you may find it challenging to truly be yourself in adult life, because the opinion of others is so vital to you. You may find yourself unable to express what you really think and generally be obstructed by living life authentically and with honesty and integrity towards yourself and others.

It may feel as if you are often in pretend mode , in order to gain best outcomes from the outside world. Others may be able to discern that you are not really open and honest, that can result in them keeping a distance from you, something that can contribute to you feeling lonely and misunderstood.

In conclusion…. Overprotective parenting undoubtedly has some quite devastating effects for the individual on multiple levels: emotional growth, the development of a healthy identity and Sense of Self, self-esteem, subsequent social interactions and relationships, and more, as we established today. Yet it is theorized that emotional hunger, and not genuine love, guides the actions of such parents- since love is about encouraging growth, and overprotectiveness hinders emotional growth on many different levels.

If you are the adult child of overprotective parents, know these effects are not irreversible. Indeed, a lot of inner work may be required so that you experience yourself as a resilient, confident and competent adult, but this is Your life and it is high time you took it in your own hands. I don't even talk to my own family members because they believe the same. I guess I have ptsd. I'm extremely traumatized I'm not happy I'm very depressed I've been suicidal before in the past.

I'm psychotic too. I can be paranoid at times and I blame some of my childhood experiences in bringing out this disorder. I'm always nervous about how I act around people. I will talk to someone then when I leave I will be scared that they think I'm spoiled even though I more than likely didn't do anything.

My mind will play tricks on me I have ocd. I feel like I don't know things that I should know I'm always nervous I'm doing stuff wrong. I always question my existence everyday is a struggle. I'm glad to see there are other people who may understand what I'm going through.

I blame my mother for ruining most of my life and I don't talk to her anymore. I actually live over miles away from her and don't have any desire to ever see or talk to her again. She was still trying to control me even in my 20's even saying I can't drive and ignoring my thoughts and emotions over my OWN child. I feel sorry for my child she just gonna mess his head up too. I wanted to protect him from her I wanted him to be happy in his childhood.

Oh well. My mom is one trait away of being a full blown narcissist. She never behaved this way toward my brother he never even lived with us but with her father and he could do whatever he wanted and he never turned out like me. He has his bachelor's degree and is doing quite well.

I only have my high school diploma. I think people instead of bullying and insulting these types of people should try and help them instead if possible. They don't even realize what they're doing is wrong. Too many people complain and but don't do anything to help for that reason they shouldn't complain. They should've been mad at my mom and not me. Overprotective parents damage their children under the guise of love.

Get counselling. You make it out like it's our fault that our parents are fuckwads. You don't seem to realize that we the overprotected now-adults don't want to be this way.

You say "Develop a backbone" which I've been trying to do for so many years now and nothing seems to work or suggest that an overprotected ten year old magically acquires both the awareness and the ability to change their parents' behaviour. How is said child supposed to even KNOW let alone convince-- you know what never mind.

More importantly, you make it out like we don't try. I've moved to the other side of the planet, I don't talk to my mother anymore because she did a bad job of raising me. I've had multiple jobs never lasting more than a year ; I really, really try. I don't like playing the victim but a child of overprotective parents is, as far as I'm concerned, a victim of abuse.

Your article is an informative and clear one, I'll give you that. HOWEVER sorry for the capitals and the future ones but they are necessary , there are gaps you need to fill in order not to label and condemn those small people who have nothing to do with this type of person they have become. Because the language is so harsh and you sound like you are blaming those kids for this type of upbringing. Really you do sound like that. Develop backbone?? Isn't this accusatory now? Isn't this a bit humiliating?

Do you think it is up to them? You may say I am sounding hypersensitive but believe me, most of these people have developed serious psychological issues.

And sounding accusatory is not the way to approach. Please try to sound supportive and offer REAL solutions rather than bashing.

I am sure you are aware brain chemicals are quite uncontrollable, very little understood of by the scientists and genetic factors have a lot to do with them. I can't imagine a person, who has obsessive-compulsive disorder, reading your article and not obsessing on this, not blaming himself even though knowing that it is stupid.

Genetics matter!!! People developing depressions out of nowhere is not a joke. And these people can not cope with social issues and when their parents care for them it is not being overprotective. You may say "But this is a different issue, you are out of track".

But then again, you need to clearly state this in this article because all sorts of people are reading this and even those parents with sensitive children may feel bad. Again your language should have been more comforting and supportive and offering solutions rather than causing more anxiety.

Sorry for my criticism level. I am an injured person too and have been through relatively harsh times. I also possess genetic traits inherited from my mother. Living in constant fear is not something a person will want, believe me. So try to be more empathetic. I've been watching Terrace House, a Japanese reality show, on Netflix, and there's a 19 year-old guy in the new season Opening New Doors , that exactly like someone this article would describe.

It's so embarrassing to watch They also have to gain independence. It all depends upon the child's age. Many overprotective parents' lives are centered around their children. What GMW says is harsh but so true in my case. Both my brother and I were overprotected as children and, as a result, missed out on the important, developmental stages one goes through in adolescence.

He managed to overcome this somehow and is married with three grown-up children. His children are all well adjusted and happy having been allowed to develop and mature naturally. Sadly, I have not been able to overcome the infantalization I suffered and my life has been a failure. I exhibit all the symptoms - socially awkward, unable to form long-term relationships, unable to make decisions, always expecting to be told what to do, I am 56 years old and look back at my life as a waste of time.

I was married briefly , have travelled extensively on business and been on some big holidays but, where ever I go or what ever I do, I feel that I "should not be there" and "should not be enjoying myself". These messages are often accompanied by an image of my Mother's face in my mind's eye looking at me with disapproval. I suffer very badly with depression and anxiety to the extent of feeling suicidal. I hate myself, hate my life and hate my stupid Mother for ruining my upbringing.

The best years of my life have been flushed down the drain and I cannot have that time over again. My heart bleeds for all the other people who have written about their experiences here. I can genuinely say that I DO know what you are talking about as I have been through it myself. I can only hope that the younger ones find an answer and are able to mature and develop to the extent that they can enjoy their lives. I think it is too late for me but please try to find some way forward and do not give up hope.

You can speak to a friend, relative, or a counselor regarding your situation. This article, the truth, was hurtful and discouraging. I had hoped to get hints and tips on how I learn to coope with things and become more independent, but I couldn't continue reading because it made me so sad.

I remembered the things that went wrong and how other kids are so lucky to have learned to be more independent and fit into this society and peers. I am 18 now and I am scared of the future. I feel like my school and friends taught me more about life and social competence than my parents did. A lot I had to learn and experience by myself. I have no idea about life, job possibilities, this country.

I feel anxious and outcasted. This article just reminded me about all the things that went wrong and how I have no future. Enough teachers discourage me about this already, saying how finding a job is not easy and it is to be expected that you are capable of teamwork, working with people. I am just not ready and just scared. I cannot change how I spent most of my time at home or with my dad. Never on my own or alone. Being on my own outside is a very uncomfortable thought to me, but of course I try my best to get used to it and I am doing a good job on becoming more independent.

My mom keeps telling me how she wants me to be her baby forever. This idea makes me angry and sad. I never was told to do house chores but when I was, I started a fight with my parents. I am very sensitive and an unconfident person. Always in self doubt and insecure. My parents may gave me kindness and warmth, but I also gained their bad traits: insecurity, unconfidence, dependent on others my mom depends on my dad to do many things for her , naiveness from my mom , oversensitive from my dad.

I learned swimming with 13 and I still don't know how to drive a bicycle, because I wasn't taught from my dad. My mom came from the Philippines so she doesn't know how many things work too. Her questions and lack of knowledge are very frustrating, and I am scared that I might turn into her in the future. The thought of being the dumbest in my environment is scary. People have no understanding or kindness if you don't understand something or they secretly judge you.

I am mad at them. And I am mad at myself. I just hope and keep trying. I hope that I'll get better help than they were, and that I get out of this cage I am in. This article is so criticizing and lacks any type of compassion. The shame the victims children feel is misplaced.

These children are victims of abuse. The shame belongs to the parent. You just end up stuck. It just makes you feel bad. When will people realize this. Had the author offered some solutions for the parent and the children of those parents Thank you for your eloquent response Overprotective parents set their children up for failure in myriad ways in their lives, particularly their adult lives.

I came across this particular link a week or 2 ago and boy did it unfortunately ring true re my daughter of nearly 23 years old. The devastating effect it has had on her due to the total overbonding with my ex her mom is now coming home to roost. My son who is 21 is totally the opposite and its been a difficult path to walk as the toxic behaviour imprinted on my daughter is really not serving her well and all the traits mentioned in the article hit home like a ton of bricks.

I have been searching for this kind of article for ages and combined with me being alienated by her barring money demands it really has opened my eyes. I have a dysfunctional family as well, so believing what I know to be true, is what keeps my life grounded, all credit to Jesus for his help before and after I met him.. I'm 21 and have over protective parents. When I was 9 I had a friend to hang out with, but we were literally allowed to do nothing but ride our bikes.

And I had to be home at 6 or they would be out searching at I wasn't allowed to drive myself to high school. People would ask me why my mom was always in the parking lot in my car. I could technically drive, but my mom had to come with me. At 21 I thought I could go out and get food or hang out with a guy if I wanted, but no.

Apparently it's weird and unnecessary to eat out by yourself. And to hang out with a guy, they gave me a hard time at first. But it ended anyway because I'm too socially awkward.

One thing he always said is my parents must keep me in a cage. I really have no idea what even goes on around my town, like restaurants, I've never done anything exciting. Now every chance I get I find an excuse to go to the mall, and I end up drinking at the bar for the sake of drinking and as a place to hang out. Safe drinking by the way. Oh, and I work with my parents.

It's nice they care, but I'm afraid I might be stuck in this. And I don't know how to get out. Step one, maybe a second job. Maybe find some friends to hang out with. But I go to work, sit with my mom in a office, then go home and sit alone. It's a depressing life. And I think about going to the liquor store, what's wrong with me, etc.

When I saw that overprotected people become the most rebellious when given the chance, it's true. My mum was the youngest of seven. She was born at the end of the second world war. Her dad's entire unit was wiped out; he survived because he was in the sick bay. At five her sister of 16 was in hospital. I'm sure all of these factors contributed to her Overprotectivesness.

I was not allowed to go to parties as a child because my mum said I might be 'fiddled with' by the birthday girls father. I also wasn't allowed parties. As a result I had few friends because my peers thought it was odd I didn't socialise. I wasn't allowed past the lampost at the bottom of our close in case I was abducted. My friend's mum felt she wasn't trusted; I wasn't invited again. At 15 my dad finally intervened when my mum was refusing to allow me to go on the Geography field trip that was essential for my exam.

At 16 I left school hoping I'd be given more freedom. Even though I'd had to pretend I wasn't interested in some of the boys who'd asked me out at school, I felt sure at 17 I'd be allowed a boyfriend; not only was I given a hard time, my parents were rude to my date.

At 31 I had to move back home for financial reasons. At 46 I'm still here! I do have compassion for my mum. However, she inadvertently taught me the world is scary. This has had a huge negative impact on my life. I would have been more happy if the Author had given any solution for this problem, instead of just defining it.. I'm 32 years old and any time I mention going to school or moving my parents get into a hissy fit.

I have no idea how to live like a normal person. I spend hours a day in my condo doing nothing but ebay, television, and sometimes masturbation which i'm trying to quit. I hate life and I hate the way my parents raised me.

I'm 21 years old and my parents are still overprotective of me. It's not that I don't like it. It's just that sometimes it's so suffocating.

I have three younger brothers and my parents are trying to push them all out to be more independent and do the very opposite to me. Just because I'm their only daughter! It's so unfair. When my family moved places, I practically have to transfer schools as well and since I still have to wait for my credentials, I decided to get a job. The problem is I don't have any experience. None at all. Because I've never worked all my life. I'm trying to change things now, though, by trying to do things myself instead of cowardly waiting for my parents decisions and permissions.

This is also the reason why I suck at decision making. I am also a bit behind socially, but I've already realized the reason for that years ago. For example, when someone talks to me my parents would just answer them, monopolizing the conversation for themselves as if it would hurt for me to talk.

I just couldn't change it for fear that I would hurt my parents feelings and because of this I practically brought the habit of not being able to bring a proper conversation. I have a 54 year old brother who has never worked other than a few brief stints lasting no more than a few months immediately following his college years over thirty years ago. What is really astonishing is he has never had a drug or alcohol problem and probably does have a nervous disorder but it is one that has never been addressed.

Yet millions of people go to work every day and pay their own way and raise families and move forward with lives of their own with much worse mental illness than him if he even has one. The real issue is his refusal to work because of his sense of entitlement is matched by my mother's blind refusal to make him work. In the process she has destroyed her relationship with me and the rest of our siblings.

I'll never understand why she felt she had to commit herself so fully to a brother who wont commit to himself. And in the process she has irreparably harmed everyone else around her as he is so toxic we cant even go near the home she shares with him.

I'm 18, and I can agree with mostly of what you said. My parents, and even my mom is so over-protective and even paranoid if I try to do things that they think I'll be in danger of. I was never to a school I never had friends until I got into a online school in the 8th grade. It took me years to find friends that is MY age. My friends are so fun and amazing to be with, but I keep this a secret with them because I fear they'll think that my friends wants to kill me, find where I live, etc.

To be honest, its best that they don't know of them and what I'm doing. Its even at the point that my mom does NOT want me of my other siblings to have Facebook, Twitter etc because she heard ppl was killed from giving their personal info out. We have Twitter, but keep it to her as a secret as much as we can.

I wish my parents weren't this, and its coming to the point that I would have to leave early. I really don't want to because I love them, but I can't take it anymore, living a life with parents decided what they think its best for us when it clearly is not. When I do get the chance, I am moving away from them as much as possible, even though my parent wants me to live in our town in which they'll think it'll happen, but it will not.

They didn't have the necessary parental protection as children. Many have to fend for themselves. There is an article indicating that Generation X, the generation after the Baby Boom, are classified as overprotective parents.

Sadly, I am one of these kids. Not a kid anymore though, I'm a year-old female. Between my elder brother and me, there is 15 year. By the time I was fully aware of my surrounding, my brother entered college and I was all alone. When he wasn't in college he hung out with his friends so My father drank on his off days he was a passive alcoholic though - so he never abused us, nor did he yell or anything.

My mother, on the other hand, yelled when she came home from work. I knew that there would be yelling when she got home and my dad was drunk. It was horrible for me. My brother somehow got over it by leaving the house and going to his friends' but I was a few years old girl, where would I go?

So yeah, I heard anything. My grandma even told me several times to bring back my father from the nearest pub. I felt ashamed and all. It still clings to me. So when there is an event where there is alcohol, I only drink a little bit. I don't want to end up like my father. Even though my father cut down on drinking that much thanks to a car accident , my mother still snaps at him for drinking more than one glass and it often escalates to arguing.

I hate hearing that. It affects the whole day. This generates a lot of misunderstanding, nagging, frustration, etc. My parents were both protective and not. My father still is. As the article says and I thought it through, there was not a job interview where one or both of my parents had not accompanied me they would stay in the hall or in the car, but they were always with me. When it comes to buying clothes I tell my mother I don't like this piece of cloth and she gets upset! Actually pouting, face reddening and all, just because I don't want to wear the type of cloth she selected for me!

That's why I hate shopping. Every single time when I leave home and arrive at the destination I have to call them that I arrived safely I know they mean well, but maybe mean too well? And if I decide not calling them, they call me. When I get home they want to know where I have been, what I have been talking about. Every little detail. It's frustrating. I have one dear friend, and I try to meet up with her as often as I could.

I cannot think of an occasion when it was not a problem meeting with her. There was and still is something to do at home and whenever I leave for an outing my father comments that I'm going again? Not in a good time. So yeah, it really makes my day. When I entered the same college my brother did, my mother worked there. So she knew everything about me.

Almost everyone knew her there so I was supervised again and I hated it. If I did something wrong my mother knew it. We didn't have the background for me to go to another college so I had to take that one where my mother worked university in Europe. It was hell. I picked out a course, but when I saw that it wasn't for me, she told me to finish it because everyone would be shocked and she would be left in shame that her daughter left college.

I have a degree that I hate. Then I finished another degree I hate because my father told me that a BSc degree would be complete with masters. So I'm here with literally no qualification because there is no way I'm going to work in those fields I qualified.

Over the months being at home, searching for any kind of job, I was starting to love doing nails. So as soon as I get a job even the lowest paying one , I will start a nail technician course. I want to make my own decision! I have been affected by my parents that I want to change things. My father is not happy with me not wanting to work with my degrees.

Mum now just shrugs her shoulders. They meant well, and all I feel is self-hatred for myself because I wasted their time, money and effort for nothing. But I have to take steps in other directions or I should just kill myself. I never had a relationship, nor a date. But after seeing how my parent's marriage turned out, I don't think I ever want to be in a relationship or have a child.

I won't be able to stand up for her when the child would get in trouble etc I can't talk to either of my parents about these things. Two or three weeks ago I talked to my sister-in-law about this. And both she and my brother respect and support my decision to start another course to finally have some independence. So with this knowledge, I will start saving up money to start a nail tech course - every time I think about it, it makes me feel free and that I finally can shape my own path.

I know it's going to be a really hard way but I have to change and start having my own life even if I end up all alone without a family of my own. Talk to a school counselor, relative, or a psychologist. Please talk to someone who cares. I'm 14 and my parents are divorced. I have not ever felt what it's like to have a real family and every night have dinner. My mom is over protective, and I have never got to have a sleep over or live how I wish to live. How my life is today is not happy and I'm not just blaming it on my mom but she see's I'm stressed and just assumes it is about something else but it is because of her.

I'm always thinking that I am more happy with my few friends than I am with my small family. I'm not depressed but I am failing classes and I really do try but I am stressed and sad.

My mom has a boy friend now and I never get to do anything with my mom now. She is always out at night getting drunk or smoking. I wish I could talk to her but I can't and every time I try to talk, she goes of topic. I feel like running away but I guess I do not have the guts to do it.

She should be worried about her self. I believe life is about family,love,friends,and also happiness but I don't get happiness I just get sad Lonley and no one ever notices. By no one , I mean my mother. I just wish I could actully have a family who could be respectful and loving and not over protective. My brotheres are also no help at all in this situation.

They just make it worse by, hurting me, making me feel bad, fat,stupid etc. If u are like me just try to live happy and have fun with the rest of your life. I know I'm not happy but atleast I know how to live a happy life. I agree with this totally. My mom was super overproctive of me,she would not let me for example she would not let me date til I was sixteen and there was a valentines day dance that was I was intvited to and it was 2 months shy of my sixteenth birthday and she almost died.

Then if I get a job that shes likes its okay but if not all hell breaks loose. One job she told they were going to break my glasses and destroy my truck. To be honest, You have a point. I dont remember much from my life but i do have autism Just like you said.. I wasnt allowed to have a phone or any electronic. I was not allowed to go on Far away field trips I. Universal studios. And the worst part is that im the only family member on my household with autism and my younger sisters get better stuff then i do.

Thats why i never have a computer,phone I've been quite like that until 22, when i finally left my parents to live my own life. That was already too late, i am now almost 40, managed to improve myself quite a bit went in parties socializing as i could , but am still having social adjustments to do especially with women.

My lack of self confidence is a pain in the ass. My mother cannot see the harm she did in raising her children. It may not have been intentional, but our lives have been crippled because of her parenting. There is not one thing in our lives that was left for us to determine on our own.

Every tiny facet of our lives was scrutinized, criticized, organized, dominated and run by her. She destroyed every last ounce of confidence I might have had in myself to make my own decisions. Even my hairstyle and clothing was chosen by her, even though I personally hated my hair and the clothes were not what I would have personally picked. I tried very hard to have my own life, make my own decisions - but failed miserably to have a career.

I have a degree that I've never used. Not that I didn't try - I tried very hard, but could never get hired. I put it down to coming across to people as strange. I think my lack of confidence showed, as well as my lack of social skills. As a family, we almost never interacted with other people. In school, I was shy and awkward because I never felt sure about anyone liking me.

The fact that I often had no or few friends didn't seem to matter one iota to her. Her bigger concerns were having a clean house and that we did everything we were told. I felt my own mother didn't like me much, despite her protestations to the contrary, even today. She deeply criticized me at every opportunity about each and every little thing. And if I didn't do something like she thought I should, she had a way of making me feel a disaster of immense proportions would certainly befall me.

I always felt as if death or some vague but tremendous punishment was awaiting me should I slip up. Her yelling and greatly exaggerated facial expressions and voice did not help matters.

I always felt in a great panic, even over what would seem little or unimportant matters to other people. She nearly drove me crazy. In fact, you might say she DID drive me and my siblings crazy, because we do not live what I consider "normal" lives as compared to the lives of others around us.

But my mother lives in complete denial of any of this, which just makes it harder. She likes to live in a fantasy world in which she views herself as having been an "Ozzie and Harriet" parent. She's been far from that. She won't face that her children all have problems stemming from her misguided parenting.

I've tried to tell her at different times about the problems she caused when we were growing up, but I end up getting all of the blame for what she did. It's a wonder that I'm even able to function. Overprotective parents mean well, but they often do more harm than good in the pursuit of perfection. What are the potential consequences? And, most importantly, how can you stop the inadvertent smothering now rather than later? Overprotective parents seek to shelter their children from physical, mental, or emotional pain.

They want to ensure that their kids are successful, so they might cushion the path or soften the blows of everyday life. This tendency to shelter, buffer, and manipulate can manifest in many ways. Here are just a few examples of overprotective parenting:. It can be unnerving to watch your little one waddle across a tiled floor, anticipating potential falls and boo-boos.

However, constantly discouraging or stopping your little one from practicing this beginner footwork can impede their progress. Furthermore, it can cause your tyke to feel mounting anxiety about their budding abilities — or lack thereof. And this goes beyond walking. This form of overprotective parenting can come into play again and again, as your child climbs higher than ever before at the playground or demands to learn to use scissors.

Instead of allowing the child to learn from failure, the desire to give them another chance is enabling and perpetuating bad habits.

The idea of them failing or making mistakes may be a source of discomfort and even fear. If your athletic child decides they want to skip baseball this year and audition for the school play, you might be skeptical if not downright discouraging. Of course, we can advise them, but ultimately, we want to encourage our children to be independent thinkers with their own confident opinions.

Kids are resilient, but only if we give them the opportunity to rebound. Overreacting to occasional failures is not helping you or your child adapt and grow. Certainly, nobody wants a game of tag to end in tears, but trips, spills, and scrapes are a part of childhood. We need to let our kids be kids. Resorting to outlandish rewards to motivate children and harsh punishments to deter them is another common sign of overprotective parenting. You want your child to be motivated by their own internal drive and excited by new experiences — not dependent on bribes and fearful of threats.