How many positives to offset a negative

Dave and Sue provide coaching for real life, personal health, and leadership breakthrough. Click "Contact Us" above for a complimentary consultation.

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website.

These cookies do not store any personal information. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies.

It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. The Conversational Chemistry of Leadership Neuroscience is now teaching us that when we face criticism, rejection or fear, when we feel marginalized or minimized, our bodies produce higher levels of cortisol, a hormone triggered by the hypothalamus causing a fight or flight reaction.

Our self-talk is the seed bed to our conversations with those we influence, for better or worse: The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. Long-Team Success The chemistry of our leadership conversations is vital to keeping ourselves and others encouraged and engaged. Transformation from the Inside Out Dave and Sue provide coaching for real life, personal health, and leadership breakthrough. Connect with Us. Facebook Instagram YouTube. Positive feedback, on the other hand, is typically easier to share.

Though, not all positive feedback is helpful. And playing to those strengths drums up intrinsic motivation that empowers agents to do more for customers. A direct correlation exists between how a manager delivers agent feedback and how engaged or disengaged an agent is likely to feel as a result.

Getting your delivery right has huge implications. Certain situations make negative feedback a non-negotiable. Like if an agent loses their temper on the phone with a customer. Some scenarios play out and need immediate intervention.

But, how you share your negative feedback is important, too. It sets the tone to either help your agents change their behavior or to make them feel even worse. When the latter happens, you run the risk of sending agents into a downward spiral, only to repeat those bad behaviors. Say your agent loses their temper during a customer interaction.

You overhear the tiff and walk over to address it. Make Jokes Playful teasing, silliness, and finding moments to laugh together can ease tension in a heated conflict. Most couples have inside jokes they only share with each other. This highlights the exclusivity a couple has. However, a word of caution: remember to find a way to joke around that maintains respect and appreciation for your spouse and that serves to bring you both closer together.

Is your relationship unbalanced? Observe how you and your partner interact. For every negative interaction that happens, are there more positive interactions? If not, take it upon yourself to create more positive interactions in your relationship, and also try to notice the small moments of positivity that currently exist there, and that you may have been missing. Keep a journal for one week that notes the positive interactions, however small, in your marriage. As Dr.

If want to build a deeply meaningful relationship full of trust and intimacy, then subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox:. Kyle works in The Love Lab where he nerds out on the science of relationships. Experts say that when we can greet one negative thought, experience, or sentiment with five positive ones, we can offset our negativity bias. It holds true in relationships as well. A recent study found that if positive feelings and interactions between a couple outweighed negative ones five to one, a marriage was more likely to be stable over time.

So when you find yourself spiraling on the negative, can you think of five positive thoughts or things to counteract it? As neuroscientist Rick Hanson writes , "Most positive experiences flow through the brain like water through a sieve, while negative ones are caught every time. So what we need to do is catch more positive moments. Shine Squad member Anita from Houston, Texas, likes to do this by keeping a stockpile of "happy memories"—it's a strategy she created as a kid and still turns to today.

You can replay happy feelings in your brain as you recall the events that brought them about. Try creating your own stockpile of "happy moments" by mentally bookmarking good moments when they come your way. It'll likely make you more intentional about savoring the good times. Do you get a little boost when you cross something off your to-do list , no matter what it is? Same here. Think of your positive moments as little to-dos that you've already accomplished. So when something great happens, add it to your calendar or to-do list, then cross it off.

For instance, just this morning, I was amazed that a new bike route I found managed to cut five minutes off my commute.